AA rocks

I love the fact that I am still alive...folks that I went through initial beginnings of my recovery...are now dealing with brain, pancreatic and lung cancer...still smoking, still drinking,,,had a difficult time dealing with personal issues and never did deal. I am very thankful for my desire to surrender and knowingness that all things do pass...good and bad, but to make the most of today...creator, thanks! Mitakuye Oyasin...thanks for making me Irish and Indian :)

time for gratitude...always

Sometimes, the snow gets in the way...the cold makes us shiver....we push the snow out of our way and cover ourselves up to keep warm...be grateful for the state of mind to be able to take care of self...and hopefully you have some left over to take care of your family and your community. Lend a hand.....pay it forward...it never hurts. Smile, just for the fun of it. Today, is a day like no other...make the most of it!

Up and feeling better!!

Wow, head colds are a trip...felt like I had a fever all day yesterday, chills, etc. but, when I got home from work, I was "normal"...ok, no comments on that.
I can't wait to hook up with Dykes on Bikes, plan our adventures for the summer, and just sit around and BS...great times, great women!
I am so happy to be a dyke. Now, a dyke in full blown menapause...but, really, wasn't that the deal all along??? tee hee!
All dykes should have an in-service about this...it resembles early recovery, at its finest. At least for me, horrible mood swings, crying, laughing, sweating (sometimes changed 3 full sets of clothes in a night and the sheets), making stories up about loved ones, low self-esteem, and all the while, knowing it is all "not real." just hormones fucking with me. (and with everyone else). I have mucho gratitude to my life partner, who just keeps rowing the boat, and knows..."this too shall pass!" I love 12-step peeps, and 12-step friendly peeps. Life, one moment at a time.
Got my taxes done, and e-filed! Good returns this year...beats paying out my butt like I did last year...well, not really...I made them wait until the returns this year. Not that they liked that or anything. But, it worked for me.
Gratitude...spring is right around the corner...I have my flight set for New Orleans...conference time...yeah! I am grateful that my mind is clearer today.

gratitude in the face of a serious bad mood

Fucking dogs had me up all night. I am sick and tired of it. Sore throat and I do not feel good. Now I am exhausted. what fucking fun.
But, on a gratitude note.
I have a job.
I have two sons that love me and I love them.
I have a partner who is true.

Proud Dyke...

My sweetness is going to get her hair done...:) always makes me happy...I love when she "applies" lipstick...very hot!!! Her manicure and pedicure is complete and looks gorgeous...of course an eyebrow waxing to make it all perfect...
Now, for me...Butched out dyke that I am...loves a power femme that knows her stuff! Oh yeah! I have alot of gratitude for being a butch, a dyke, etc..one of the elite: Dykes On Bikes, and happy to have two son's who rock! I am so, so proud of these guys, its crazy!!! Amazing, full of creativity, smarts, and good looks! Yowzer!!!
I put in my two weeks notice at the stable. I am done with mucking. I am going to make money a different way... :)
I want to take the motorcycle mechanics class at WCC...learn everything, from welding, etc. yippeee! I also want to learn tattooing. oh yeah, and lost wax process of jewelry making.
I am happy.
I am content...
taxes have been dropped off. :)
call backs have been made...
Time to make/create more money...
That's my middle name...I am very good at that...:)
If you are reading this, take a moment to thank the great mystery for your life today...just for this moment!

Yep...seeking self, gratitude is always my attitude.

Hopefully, I can see through all the days and nights of trying to figure myself out. Of course, I am clean and sober today...having great conversations about trans/butch/dyke...etc. The difference in attitude, how one presents in the world, questions continue and hopefully the conversation never ends. No one, but no one should be criticized for living and being who they are. Feminism is real, but not all women born women fly this flag at full staff.
It is an interesting conversation.

Sometimes, when folks don't understand...

Interestingly enough, some folks do not understand that some people born women do not have a brain wired that way. Not sure why, or how to explain it. Even when I was pregnant...nothing like feeling/thinking male, and being pregnant. Teachers would tell me that my son's had a pronoun problem when they were age 3 and 4 because they always referred to me as "he" or "him"...or of course, mom. I was the only person they did that with...so, I told the teachers, ummmm, no, they do not have a pronoun problem.
I am grateful for coming into my power, being able to live the person that I truely am. I lost that momentarily...when I went back into the workforce...thinking that I had to "fit in" or "get thrown out." Anyway, I am not scared anymore. I am too old for that nonsense. It is time to live my life the way I see fit...whatever that maybe...as long as I am myself.
I appreciate my life. I appreciate my beautiful, femme partner...who teaches me about the absolute beauty and strength of feminity every single day! She is what you would call a "Power Femme"....capitalization required.
Yes, I like being called Sir.
Yes, my brain thinks that way.
I love my life, my sons, my partner...it is an awesome life. I am learning to fit in this body and be comfortable, no matter what. No matter the looks, the men that get pissed with me, etc. The stories that we all have are great. Like, the time I came out of the women's bathroom at a rest stop in my leathers, and this guy saw me and immediately assumed it was the men's bathroom and walked in...he figured it out fast, whipped around and gave me a truly disgusted look. I was happy, wheeling away on my Harley...
I am grateful for this life!
So, gratitude is the name of the game.
I liked this guy's shirt at a meeting last night, it said "Your Spirit is Your Shield"...that is cool...how true.